Why Are Things Fucked?

the cosmic moon button

What you're hearing

No samples, no MP3. Every note is being calculated and synthesised in your browser in real time, layered to match today's vibe.

sub drone 40 Hz + 80 Hz sine waves. The floor of the mix. You feel it more than hear it.
Schumann resonance 7.83 Hz sine wave breathing the sub up and down. The Earth's natural electromagnetic pulse, the same frequency NASA tracks between the ground and the ionosphere. Sub-audible, you feel the lift.
pad chord Three detuned saw oscillators tuned to a minor triad. Root note shifts with today's verdict (table below). A slow filter sweep gives it the breathing quality.
cosmic noise Pink noise (Paul Kellet's algorithm) through a heavy low-pass, panned slowly L to R on a 25-second cycle. Sounds like distant solar wind.
master Hard limited at −18 dB. It can't get loud, you won't be ambushed.

root note → verdict level

Level	Note	Frequency	Feel
NO	A2	110.00 Hz	grounded, low, calm
NOT REALLY	A#2 / B♭2	116.54 Hz	slight unease, slightly off
KINDA	B2	123.47 Hz	tension creeping in
YES	C#3 / D♭3	138.59 Hz	raised, anxious, alert
CATASTROPHIC	D3	146.83 Hz	highest, most strung-out

Calm verdicts sit lower in the spectrum so they feel like a deep breath out. Fucked verdicts pitch up so the chord feels more wound. The minor third (×6/5) and fifth (×3/2) are stacked on whatever the root is, so the chord shape stays the same, only its height moves.

The sound also auto-suspends when you tab away, never plays without consent.

Brisbane, QLD, AU · Saturday 20 June 2026

Why Are Things Fucked?

first quarter 35% · in Virgo · tap for more ↓

☉ sun in Gemini

lunar mansion

Hasta

skilful hands, the craft.

next new

14 July 2026

in 24 days

next full

29 June 2026

in 10 days

distance

379,774 km

void of course

no, on track

the era

Pluto in Capricorn

collapse of old structures, institutional rot

the dream

Neptune in Aries

spiritual identity, the new myth-making, awakening through fire

the wildcard

Uranus in Gemini

communication revolution, AI, language disruption (begins 2025/26)

· what's happening ↓

updated now

retroactive cosmic explanation

Was that day actually fucked?

The day you got dumped. The day you had that fight with your mum. Your wedding anniversary. Plug it in. We\'ll tell you what was actually going on.

your chart

Make it about you.

Add your birth details and the verdict above shifts to reflect your chart specifically, not the general weather. Stays on your device. Never sent to a server. Never seen by anyone but you.

the watchlist

Tell me when shit goes off.

Tick what you want to know about. The browser will check daily and ping you when conditions hit. No account, no email, no server. Runs locally on your device.

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